A Little Bit

Can we talk a little bit

For a little bit

We’re engaged in conversation like we said “I do”

Feels like God blessed me like I said “ah choo”

Damn you’re so beautiful

Be well aware that I’m pursuing you

In hopes that we be caked up so I can call you my suzy q

Can we touch a little bit

For a little bit

Our bodies connected like the internet

I’m hoping you don’t log off because I’m not finished yet

You subscribe to my love like a membership

And you always sing up for every tender kiss

Thats why I feel like you’re my December wish

Can we make love a little bit

For a little bit

We melt with ecstasy like a party drug

Our tight embrace like a hearty hug

Her screams make it easy for the neighbors to target us

Yes, we’re both expressive lovers and its very obvious

And there’s no stopping us

So lets just live a little bit

For a little bit

Random Thought

They say you can learn a lot about somebody just by the company they keep

But then I realized that there isn’t nobody more important than me

Honestly all my selfish ways are about to hit its peak

Self-centered but just a touch

When it comes to any strings attached, I duck them like double dutch

I swear I’m not tripping anymore so more shuttle bus

I’ll just tell them my heart too cold to even cuddle up

Besides self-love is the best love

Then again, that kind of love could be the best drug

Making myself the best plug

See it’s all about me

And if not, then everything else is over my head like a tall balcony

Had to single myself out because less is more like a raw calorie

Seems like I’m careless whenever they care the most

I mean why lead somebody down that road when I barely coast

Plus, those problems I put in my rearview are still fairly close

Unapologetic like oh well

So, if your heart is your home, I’m a guest at mine like a hotel

And I don’t know the duration, there’s no tell

Therefore, please don’t ask why

Because like time, it’ll eventually just pass by

Maybe I’ll start seeing things clearer or fake it like a glass eye

But who knows maybe I’ll find a loophole this last try

Appetency

She smells like bad intentions

That constantly gets me in trouble like I had detention

Can you even be attracted to a smell

Most times I’m too distracted to tell

Especially when I’m desperate

Like common sense comes separate

I’m too busy trying to give her that aggressive d before she calls a technical

Because I keep my emotions bottled up for years like a collectible

My eyes, temporarily blind like a newborn puppy

Got me missing blatant red flags like rugby

Senses refuse to pick up her toxicity

Because all I’m focused on is if we got chemistry

Chasing her until I need to hydrate

Or until she’s too familiar with my place

But I can’t just dive in, I’m too shallow

Though I want to be all over that body like her shadow

She keeps playing head games which makes me think different

And she always wins unless she’s bored then she’ll consider it

Unfortunately, when I win I still lose

Even when it is weighing me down like steel shoes

No matter what she’s stuck in my head permanently like gorilla glue

I mean just the thought of her body plays on a continuous loop like a hula hoop

But I let it because getting quenched is a must

Especially after struggling with ongoing battles with lust

Sometimes it’s just too much

Sometimes it’s just a rush

Random Thought

I ask myself, would life be better if I had the opportunity to change it

Before I can answer I need to get it in order, it still needs rearranging

Out with the old, in with the new like a revolving door

The way I adapt to every obstacle proves I’m evolving more

Although some signs were missed or ignored

I feel like I been on the bench so far because I haven’t got an assist or scored

The older I’m getting the slower I’m getting to chasing my goals

But I’ve been tip toeing around like I’m walking on hot coals

Being unsure and uncertain is uncomfortable

Been heated and depleted of energy like I had a summer flu

I used to be a loner, but now I’m just all alone

I used to detect dreams like sonar but now I mostly atone

All the negativity that holds me back

Because I’m still constantly searching for what I was told I lack

Struggling trying not to expose my flaws

Been living in a house of doubt, looking explode some walls

With pity being the furniture as a matter of fact

But now it’s all in jeopardy like pat sajak

Need help, like someone please take the wheel but still utter instruction

I guess there’s more work to be done like my life under construction

Random Thought

Damn she bad like she’s a villain.

If she with it, then I’m with it.

If she chilling, then I’m chilling.

Her vibe is so real I can personify.

If one’s aura is the truth hers don’t have to lie

With a body no imagination can even do justice

I be cheesing hard, she got me feeling full of lustiness.

Got me looking up words to describe what her touching does.

And she’s full of life, I’m addicted so I like to abuse her sustenance.

Shes enamored with my words because compliments I have an abundance.

My confidence, she has trust in it.

So, I sprinkle her in my life like condiments but just a little

She calls me swift how I rush the middle.

Even though I’m still trying to figure her out like a Russian riddle.

And I’m still struggling.

How I’m trying to be a piece in her life knowing I don’t fit, its puzzling

But she keeps reminding me that she’s only into fucking no cuddling.

Her cold heart came from always giving people the cold shoulder.

I’m like what if I like to wear my heart on my sleeve is what I told her.

Would she just laugh in my face, could she be bipolar?

Nope, it doesn’t matter so I’m not going to stress it.

I mean we go a long way right, so should I try to stretch it?

Got me questioning myself Just so I can keep seeing her naked

Got me judging myself like that’s a damn shame.

She got you apologizing for her baggage like you’re the blame.

She got you following her every command like that damn “Simon sez” game.

Like all that overthinking I do, too bad I couldn’t get a clue.

Sacred to take that risk and end it because she got me stuck like glue.

It’s crazy the more she pushed me away the more my feelings grew.

Like I’m in love with pain, but she’s why I hate it.

Lately I’ve been so thirsty like I’m dehydrated.

See that’s what happens when my emotions and other parts of me migrated.

Complacent?

I never been to a place with calm seas

But I know I belong in Cali because all I do is palm trees

Maybe the windy city is giving off the wrong breeze

I think it might be time to change scenes

Because lately I’ve been having some strange dreams

Like pieces of me are dying inside like gain greene

I’ve always wanted to fly away but been grounded like having a sprained knee

Excuses clouded my judgement

Fear rerouted my drive that stopped me from rushing

I feel like home just not feeling as comfortable all of a sudden

Dreams withering of that one day when it’s all or nothing

Because my conscience always calls when I’m bluffing

Maybe I’m content since family keeps me rooted

Maybe being familiar keeps me suited

Maybe, but I know that one more year here will make me lose it

Then I eventually snap out of it

Just a bit a frustration which seems obvious

A small irritant but it seeds my curiosity like an olive pit

Although staying in one place for too long could be a solid risk

But my patience is fading like a bad oncologist

It’s definitely on my problem list

I’m just not sure when I’ll acknowledge it

Therapy

Every fall I feel empty like the limbs on trees

Like there’s a visual change and I’m not just talking about the leaves

The cold air from my heart force me to wear long sleeves

Antisocial behavior like I’m allergic to people

Usually, a mask hides my emotions but sometimes tears seep through

Got me wishing it was leak proof

A few guys were affected by smoking pistols

Which caused coping issues

A couple were really close, and it hurt like exposed open tissue

That’s why all the negativity and nightmares I seem to inherit

Let alone the loss of a child from a miscarriage

See those pages I should’ve got rid of, but I couldn’t even tear it

But at least through therapy a lot of those pages, I can at least fold them

I have twice as many scars than tattoos that’s why I expose them

I let them breathe because all that holding in shit was due for an explosion

I’m good now hopingly

I say that jokingly

I came a long way, used to be closed off now I speak openly

I’ve practiced sobriety with piety

Have anxiety from society

But I’m trying to let art inspire me with bribery

I mean it helps the goal, to achieve inner peace which keeps eyeing me

Update Special!!!

Hey, my WordPress people, it’s crazy how long I’ve been away it’s been a serious minute. In my hiatus I was dealing with life, family, covid, anxiety and new opportunities. I’ve also challenged myself by completely destroying that box I didn’t want to go outside of. I’ve recently had a career change and been very busy and productive. I always stay writing though and have been working on several short fictional stories.  I’ve recently been writing more poetry and have been posting it on another site. I’ll post a few on here as I get back into the hang of things. I’m excited to be back and excited to connect with new as well as old readers. I have so much planned this year, so I hope you guys continue to support and show love. Keep writing my friends. If you’d like to check out some of my more recent work, feel free.

View at Medium.com

Random Thought

Man I swear this girl nuts, I nicknamed her cashew

Because she keep telling me the love is past due

So let me ask u

Do u think this is a joke, because I want to laugh too

U say we have a lot of problems to tackle, but u rather let them pass u

U think love is the finish line, but u steady let people lap u

Your heart shouldn’t feel like a jail, u shouldn’t let them trap u

U say you’re an old soul, but act brand new

You’re always putting me down, which is why I can’t stand u

I really hope u marinate what I’m saying to u

U have so many trust issues, even the smallest things take a day to prove

Your foundation was weak, your shame kept raining through

I mean u had me like a dog, everything u say I’ll do

Your last name should have been parker, because u acted like it was a game to u

I must look insane to u

Must be because all I see is a loony tune, so I’m blaming u

But that’s not what I came to do

I just wanted to write this letter naming u

For our sudden break, but respect is what I’m paying u

Because at the end of the day I’ll be alone, but a lifetime of loneliness and regret is what will be gaining u

Inhale

Could it be that the love of my life came from a bean

Even though our engagements are rarely seen

But every time I’m around her I can feel butterflies in my spleen

Inhale

When I feel like I’m in hell

Or when my mind is trapped like I’m in jail

She’s usually right there with the bail

Inhale

Sometimes I overindulge on every node

Because she always straightened me up, she never let me fold

And even though she’s bad news, her flame never left me cold

Inhale

She smell like she bathes in grapefruit

The thought of her body will never escape u

If looks could kill, I’m in trouble because I have a great view

Inhale

As soon as her aura gets absorbed it’s an instant high

Though she makes me nervous, she could make the most innocent lie

So baby girl take this ride

With yours truly to outer space, where you’ll be forever mine

Inhale