A Little Bit

Can we talk a little bit

For a little bit

We’re engaged in conversation like we said “I do”

Feels like God blessed me like I said “ah choo”

Damn you’re so beautiful

Be well aware that I’m pursuing you

In hopes that we be caked up so I can call you my suzy q

Can we touch a little bit

For a little bit

Our bodies connected like the internet

I’m hoping you don’t log off because I’m not finished yet

You subscribe to my love like a membership

And you always sing up for every tender kiss

Thats why I feel like you’re my December wish

Can we make love a little bit

For a little bit

We melt with ecstasy like a party drug

Our tight embrace like a hearty hug

Her screams make it easy for the neighbors to target us

Yes, we’re both expressive lovers and its very obvious

And there’s no stopping us

So lets just live a little bit

For a little bit

Random Thought

They say you can learn a lot about somebody just by the company they keep

But then I realized that there isn’t nobody more important than me

Honestly all my selfish ways are about to hit its peak

Self-centered but just a touch

When it comes to any strings attached, I duck them like double dutch

I swear I’m not tripping anymore so more shuttle bus

I’ll just tell them my heart too cold to even cuddle up

Besides self-love is the best love

Then again, that kind of love could be the best drug

Making myself the best plug

See it’s all about me

And if not, then everything else is over my head like a tall balcony

Had to single myself out because less is more like a raw calorie

Seems like I’m careless whenever they care the most

I mean why lead somebody down that road when I barely coast

Plus, those problems I put in my rearview are still fairly close

Unapologetic like oh well

So, if your heart is your home, I’m a guest at mine like a hotel

And I don’t know the duration, there’s no tell

Therefore, please don’t ask why

Because like time, it’ll eventually just pass by

Maybe I’ll start seeing things clearer or fake it like a glass eye

But who knows maybe I’ll find a loophole this last try

Appetency

She smells like bad intentions

That constantly gets me in trouble like I had detention

Can you even be attracted to a smell

Most times I’m too distracted to tell

Especially when I’m desperate

Like common sense comes separate

I’m too busy trying to give her that aggressive d before she calls a technical

Because I keep my emotions bottled up for years like a collectible

My eyes, temporarily blind like a newborn puppy

Got me missing blatant red flags like rugby

Senses refuse to pick up her toxicity

Because all I’m focused on is if we got chemistry

Chasing her until I need to hydrate

Or until she’s too familiar with my place

But I can’t just dive in, I’m too shallow

Though I want to be all over that body like her shadow

She keeps playing head games which makes me think different

And she always wins unless she’s bored then she’ll consider it

Unfortunately, when I win I still lose

Even when it is weighing me down like steel shoes

No matter what she’s stuck in my head permanently like gorilla glue

I mean just the thought of her body plays on a continuous loop like a hula hoop

But I let it because getting quenched is a must

Especially after struggling with ongoing battles with lust

Sometimes it’s just too much

Sometimes it’s just a rush

Random Thought

I ask myself, would life be better if I had the opportunity to change it

Before I can answer I need to get it in order, it still needs rearranging

Out with the old, in with the new like a revolving door

The way I adapt to every obstacle proves I’m evolving more

Although some signs were missed or ignored

I feel like I been on the bench so far because I haven’t got an assist or scored

The older I’m getting the slower I’m getting to chasing my goals

But I’ve been tip toeing around like I’m walking on hot coals

Being unsure and uncertain is uncomfortable

Been heated and depleted of energy like I had a summer flu

I used to be a loner, but now I’m just all alone

I used to detect dreams like sonar but now I mostly atone

All the negativity that holds me back

Because I’m still constantly searching for what I was told I lack

Struggling trying not to expose my flaws

Been living in a house of doubt, looking explode some walls

With pity being the furniture as a matter of fact

But now it’s all in jeopardy like pat sajak

Need help, like someone please take the wheel but still utter instruction

I guess there’s more work to be done like my life under construction

Little White Lies

Okay beautiful let me start off by being true to you

Truth is I’m feeling you, down to your chewed up cuticle

I’m lying

I like your thick figure, but I don’t discriminate against body size

Truthfully, I didn’t notice your thighs first, I was more attracted to your eyes

I’m lying

I swear I’m not running game

I mean I’m getting tired of the chase, settling down is my aim

I’m lying

I promise I’m not in the business of wasting time

I want to be able to outline your life because I’m tired of tracing mine

I’m lying

I don’t do drama so I’m not trying to have you cry a day

I just want to swell your head with so many compliments you’d fly away

I’m lying

I’m not a dog although you can see my canines

Boundaries are damn near invisible to me like gray lines

I’m lying

I’m an open book with a few good stories

No negativity or bad vibes so no worries

I’m lying

Not an emotional person but they’re available

And I may have put up some walls, but I promise they’re scalable

I’m lying

The only baggage I’m holding can fit in a knapsack

But I swear I left all that in my past and I’m not trying to backtrack

I’m lying

Now normally I’m one of the good guys

Unless I’m really desperate then I might tell a few white lies

Autumn

Familiar changes that I can’t doubt, not even if I tried

Only looking for the perfect vibe

Which is imaginary because I can’t even describe

I guess for now that part of me is all washed up like the tide

So like time, let me fall back

When the temperature change, I’m more temperamental

Because my heart is what I use to vent through

I’m more vulnerable so I’m more experimental

Trying new ways to be alone no matter who I’m kin to

Again, like time, let me fall back

Shorter nights mean I’m team no sleep

I can’t remember my dreams because they’re not so deep

Seems like everything is out of reach like really steep

But who knows maybe this year I’ll take the leap

Until then I tell myself, you can’t replace time you lost all you can do is fall back

Random Thought

Damn she bad like she’s a villain.

If she with it, then I’m with it.

If she chilling, then I’m chilling.

Her vibe is so real I can personify.

If one’s aura is the truth hers don’t have to lie

With a body no imagination can even do justice

I be cheesing hard, she got me feeling full of lustiness.

Got me looking up words to describe what her touching does.

And she’s full of life, I’m addicted so I like to abuse her sustenance.

Shes enamored with my words because compliments I have an abundance.

My confidence, she has trust in it.

So, I sprinkle her in my life like condiments but just a little

She calls me swift how I rush the middle.

Even though I’m still trying to figure her out like a Russian riddle.

And I’m still struggling.

How I’m trying to be a piece in her life knowing I don’t fit, its puzzling

But she keeps reminding me that she’s only into fucking no cuddling.

Her cold heart came from always giving people the cold shoulder.

I’m like what if I like to wear my heart on my sleeve is what I told her.

Would she just laugh in my face, could she be bipolar?

Nope, it doesn’t matter so I’m not going to stress it.

I mean we go a long way right, so should I try to stretch it?

Got me questioning myself Just so I can keep seeing her naked

Got me judging myself like that’s a damn shame.

She got you apologizing for her baggage like you’re the blame.

She got you following her every command like that damn “Simon sez” game.

Like all that overthinking I do, too bad I couldn’t get a clue.

Sacred to take that risk and end it because she got me stuck like glue.

It’s crazy the more she pushed me away the more my feelings grew.

Like I’m in love with pain, but she’s why I hate it.

Lately I’ve been so thirsty like I’m dehydrated.

See that’s what happens when my emotions and other parts of me migrated.

Random Thought

I sometimes drown in my shallow thoughts

A constant battle with myself like I’m trying to shadow box

It’s all mental but still get physically fatigued

Because once the mind gone the body is easily intrigued

But does that mean that I’m weak

I mean I’m usually solid but at times I have a leak

I got my blinders on but sometimes I want to take a peek

Listen up and take a seat

I’m known for my words so I’m mostly tongue and cheek

And I know blessings are hiding that’s why I run and seek

Ill catch one eventually

That’s what I tell myself essentially

As a distraction

Because getting tired of the chase is usually the reaction

Then I snap out of it, so I don’t start slacking

Which is easier for me when wanting copious amounts of what I’m lacking

All day I dream about success, Adidas

So, I keep going until I’m one in a million like Aaliyah

Meditate

Up early trying to search for my inner peace

To find myself outside surrounded by nature

All my senses consumed by the trees

The wind whistling and birds singing soon cater

I just sit and let it seep in

So focused, you can’t interrupt this view

As I slowly start to breath in

I close my eyes and count in my head, one…two

For several minutes I embrace the moment

My brain go on do not disturb

The lack of negativity erases any opponent

No distractions, more tuned in with what’s pictured

I let the morning sun warm my vitals

As the blood heats up and pulses through my veins

My soul in deep relaxation while my body idles

Then the weight on my shoulders is lifted like cranes

Increasing my breaths

I fall deeper

Trying to cleanse all the stress

Only good vibes on my mind because I’m a dreamer

Then the grass begins feeling like quicksand

As it started sinking

My aura is the only thing holding me up like a kickstand

Right before I completely fall in and stop thinking

The sound of my alarm snaps me back

I open my eyes and just gaze

I twist and turn as my bones cracks in my back

As I light my joint full of haze

Then inhale

And exhale

Complacent?

I never been to a place with calm seas

But I know I belong in Cali because all I do is palm trees

Maybe the windy city is giving off the wrong breeze

I think it might be time to change scenes

Because lately I’ve been having some strange dreams

Like pieces of me are dying inside like gain greene

I’ve always wanted to fly away but been grounded like having a sprained knee

Excuses clouded my judgement

Fear rerouted my drive that stopped me from rushing

I feel like home just not feeling as comfortable all of a sudden

Dreams withering of that one day when it’s all or nothing

Because my conscience always calls when I’m bluffing

Maybe I’m content since family keeps me rooted

Maybe being familiar keeps me suited

Maybe, but I know that one more year here will make me lose it

Then I eventually snap out of it

Just a bit a frustration which seems obvious

A small irritant but it seeds my curiosity like an olive pit

Although staying in one place for too long could be a solid risk

But my patience is fading like a bad oncologist

It’s definitely on my problem list

I’m just not sure when I’ll acknowledge it